Are You a Proverbs 31 Woman?

In the church community "she" is the most prestigious within the church and something to aspire to. She is the one that her husband as well as children will praise; The Proverbs 31 woman. As a single woman I was most certain that I fit this mold, although her duties where well beyond what I hoped for. I has the opportunity to speak with Stephanie C. Harper, Author of " Married...Now What?". She will give us an complete examination of a Proverbs 31 woman and give us the answer we seek. "Are you a Proverbs 31 woman?"




 ♥     You believe singles should not get married to be happy" why would they want to get married if they wont be happy?

Just as money doesn't buy love.  Marriage is not an automatic fix for being happy.  Every day in a marriage is not a bed of roses.  You have two imperfect people trying to co-exist and it requires work.  Happiness comes from within.  If you are looking to someone else to "make you happy" then you will be disappointed a lot.  Bummer huh?  Marriage is a good thing, but you won't be happy when you have to pick up your husband's dirty socks 3 nights in a row.   The two of you can create happiness in your marriage, but just saying "I DO" doesn't create a happy marriage.

♥     How did you know that marriage was your ministry? 

Ha!  Actually, I never thought of it as "my ministry" as it relates to ministering to others.  However, I discovered in my own life that my because marriage is God-ordained marriage in itself is a ministry.  The dictionary defines marriage as a "service" or "function" and in a marriage you will find that a successful marriage requires us being selfless.  Which means that you sometimes have to put the needs of others before your own and that is not always an easy thing to do.

♥    In your book, Married, Now What? you said, "you can be a wife but not a proverbs 31 woman, but you cannot be proverbs 31 women until you are a wife", please elaborate on this revelation. 

There are many women who are married, but do not take care of their husbands or their homes.  There are many wives who also put there children before their mates.  But the Bible tells us to train them so they can what?  GOOOOOOO.  We were creates to be an asset to our husbands, not a liability.  The word help meet (helpmate) means that we are suitable FOR HIM.  Yes, we were made for him (our husbands). So our roles as wives is to keep him encouraged, keep him confident and keep him covered.  As for the latter part, you can be a Godly woman, but the Proverbs 31 status is reserved for a wife.  That doesn't go over well with many singles because they feel it's a put down.  It's not...but if they really study the passage of Proverbs 31 they will discover she is not just a woman of God, but she is a married woman. 

♥     If a single woman performs the duties of a proverbs wife, why can she not be a proverbs woman?  How can she perform the duties (of taken care of her husband) if she doesn't have one?

The Proverbs 31 Woman is married. The Bible is very specific when referring to her.  Vs 31:11 HER HUSBAND trusts her.  Vs. 31:23 HER HUSBAND is known in the gates.  Vs. 31:28 HER HUSBAND praises her.  Not only that if you start at Verse 1, that is a mother speaking to her son about how to choose a wife.  Let me also clarify, that I'm referring solely to the Proverbs 31 woman because the Proverbs 7 woman was a harlot.  *giggle*

♥     Would you say proverbs 31 is a letter to a man seeking a wife?

Yes.  Proverbs 31:1 is about a mother speaking to her son on how to choose a wife (Verses 1-9). 

♥     What would be your advice for singles preparing for marriage? Would understanding this passage be a prerequisite? 

Starting with your second question, understand the role of the Proverbs 31 woman would be quite helpful in determining how a woman should take care of her home.  At the end of the day, the woman is the aroma of the home and she has more power in the home that she thinks...but she has to learn how to create the aroma.  As for a single woman preparing for marriage, I would tell her to study the Proverbs 31 woman.  One misconception is that she was a housewife.  Now only did she take care of her husband and children, but she was also a polished business woman who made great contributions to her household.

♥     Would you do away with the list that most of us write in seeking a mate? 

I would not do away with it, but I would divide it down the middle of optional and deal breakers. Many times when women start sounding off their list much of it is superficial he must be this tall, this shade, have this much money, etc.  While those things are preferences, it might also be the list of things that keep women from being open to finding their mate (or should I say being found by their mate).

♥     In your book you stated “I don’t have to work as hard as I did when I was single”, is that a misconception?

Doesn’t being a wife come with additional tasks that singles are not privy to?  LOL, no I meant that in a literal sense.  When I was single, I worked 12 hours a day at my Corporate job and I also started a business and Magazine.  To build my business and get CAREER Magazine off the ground.  I needed the money from my Corporate position.  So I was literally working two jobs.  As a wife, I have a husband who pays all the bills (yes a blessing), so I'm not as hard pressed to work as long or hard because I don't have to bear all the responsibilities alone any longer.   I know have a partner who helps me with everything...even the common cold.

♥     When the process does begin as a proverbs 31 woman? Can it begin in singlehood? 

Good question!  I think you can prepare yourself to be wife while you are single by doing things such managing your finances, keeping a house clean (especially your bedroom...that's the king's playpen), never running out of things such as bath soap and toilet paper, learning balance, and learning to pre-plan for meals.  Personally, I'm a crock potter.  I clean and season my meat before I freeze it.  So even if I have to travel, my husband can walk to the freezer and drop meat in the crock pot and go to work.  While I may not be there physically, my presence is still there! :)  However, as I always say, "if you have never tasted a strawberry, you can't describe its taste".  So there are somethings that you will not learn about being a wife until you become one.

*Stephanie C. Harper, PHR, CCP, CHRM is certified human resources professional by trade. With more than 20 years in the industry, Stephanie is an author of 9 books, career expert, speaker, radio host and Publisher of CAREER Magazine. To find out more about Stephanie visit www.StephanieHarper.com

13 Things in 2013

1.  Jesus Christ had 12 disciples, he was the 13th!!!
2.  Its represents the Trinity 1:3..the Father, Son and Holy Spirit in 1
3.  The number that cleans and purifies
4. The number 13 brings the test, the suffering and the death. It symbolizes the death to the matter or to oneself and the birth to the Spirit (Supernatural): the passage on a higher level of existence.
5. Represents the eternal love illustrated by Jacob and his twelve sons. 
6.    We find often the number thirteen associated with the Blessed Virgin Mary
7. The thirteen gates of the human body of the woman: 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 nostrils, the mouth, 2 breasts, the navel, the anus, the urethra and the vagina.
8. Number in relation with the moon: it covers on the average thirteen degrees per day and there are thirteen lunation’s in the year.
9.   The Number 13 is a Karmic Number.  Number 13 is the number of upheaval, so that new ground can be broken.  The number 13 has great power.  If this power is used for selfish purposes it leads to destruction.
10.  The U.S started with 13 colonies, the first national flag had 13 stars, and even today it still has 13 stripes.
11.  On the green side of the dollar bill there are 13 steps in the pyramid of the Great Seal.
12.  Tribes of Israel. Yes, 13. They consist of the eleven sons of Jacob/Israel and the two sons of Joseph comprising the original 13 Tribes of Israel.
13.  Most importantly, I was born 10.13…=)